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Joke of the Day

"My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don't exist. He's busy vacuuming now."

"A feminist asked me how I see lesbians Apparently in ""HD"" wasn't the right answer"

"[bank robbery] Robber 1: put money in the bag Robber 2: how come u get to be robber 1? Robber 4: how do u think I feel. There's only 3 of us"

"He: That's a handsome dog. What's his name? She: Roger He: Does he bite? She: No He: How does he eat then?"

"""I have a particular set of spills,"" Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken."

"At the office, my colleague had her computer on with an unsaved document. I looked at her in the eyes and told her I'd tap that s with control."

"Since you've discovered the Internet you don't pay any attention to me! Who said that?"

"What's the difference between the government and your wife? The government enjoys fucking you Edit: phrasing courtesy of tefkasm"

"What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market? ""Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"""

"The package says ""Do not eat raw cookie dough"" but all I really see is ""Pillsbury hates you and doesn't want you to be happy."""