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Joke of the Day

"Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread"

"Hot Neighbor, you forgot to take your shirt off before mowing the lawn again. Come on. Our imaginary conversation about this was very clear."

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: describe the suspect ""He was holding a pencil, wishing he was a real artist"" {pencil stops moving} ""And he was crying"""

"Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period."

"You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child."

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""

"A well timed ""Have a good day!"" can be a great substitute for ""Fuck you!"" in almost every situation."

"Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid."

"Eat* a big** bowl*** of Cheerios****! Part***** of any healthy****** breakfast*******! [please read warnings and disclaimers carefully]"

"Math Joke. There are 10 types of people. Those who know that this joke is in hexadecimal and F the rest. Credit: Numberphile"