176146

Joke of the Day

"Someone told me: You shouldn't fall in love because you might get hurt.... I said yeah: And you shouldn't fuckin live because you might die.."

"Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness"

"In regards to Caitlyn Jenner's car accident I guess you could call it vehicular translaughter."

"Last chance to use the washroom before I shower! Speak now or forever hold your pees."

"How long is a Chinaman?"

"Are you a mixologist? I could tell by your poor style."

"If the shortened nickname for the Buccaneers is the Bucs, the Jaguars are the Jags, and the Patriots are the Pats... Then what do we call the Titans?"

"Do you know what is ""Deja POO"" ? It's the feeling that you've heard this crap before."

"If the Founding Fathers were alive today, what would they be doing? clawing at the tops of their coffins and screaming, probably."

"Hillary and Donald are in a plane that crashed. Who survived? The pilot who jumped out with a parachute."