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Joke of the Day

"Hey 300lb lady, stop bragging about your cup size. It doesn't count when your entire body is double D."

"We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker."

"What's Hitlers most hated candy? Jewb jewbs"

"What is the difference between British beer and a pussy? The pussy only tastes like piss at the start."

"Why are so many people caucusing for Hillary Clinton... They were inspired by Monica Lewinsky."

"It seems like everything is made in China... ...except for babies. They're made in VaChina"

"An octopus should have eightacles, not ten."

"What did the dinosaur say after the car crash? I'msosaurus"

"Jessica Simpson had her baby. Apparently, Kanye busted into the delivery room and said Beyonce had the best baby of all time."

"A Jewish kid wants to go to the mall... and asks his dad for forty dollars. ""Thirty dollars?"" he replies. ""What do you need twenty dollars for?"""