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Joke of the Day

"Hey 300lb lady, stop bragging about your cup size. It doesn't count when your entire body is double D."

"How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing? Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry."

"Jesus: I HAVE RETURNED [wife & I arguing about who used the last paper towel or some other shit] Jesus: OK I'MMA COME BACK LATER"

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"I like my rum like I like my women Twelve years old and mixed up with Coke."

"A teacher asks her class what noise a pig makes... Lil Tyrone raises his hand and says ""Freeze mothafucka!"" I guess there aren't any farms in Detroit."

"If a Hammerhead Shark met a Nail Tail Whale.. Would they..Hit it off?"

"Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine."

"Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party ? It was a scream !"

"My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them."