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Joke of the Day

"I think unscented candles are bullshit... cuz every candle smells like something's burning. (Best read in a Hedberg voice.)"

"How do hurricanes see? -With one eye"

"Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog"

"My youngest son's dirty clothes sit on the floor, beneath the laundry chute. I admire his hope that they'll bounce up and swish down."

"Where do the Chinese study? In the Pupils republic of China"

"There's this Joke about North Korea but they won't let me post it."

"What do you call one of Santa's helpers? A subordinate clause"

"Although it sounds like it could be a good one, Pissflaps is a terrible name for a bar & grill"

"For those who've received my unsolicited dick pix: my computer does NOT have a virus I am purposely sending those to you."

"What's the name of a musical collaboration between Shia LaBeouf and a Judge? A just duet."