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Joke of the Day

"A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as ""ruthless"" since then. People are pissed."

"My wife always cheats when we play board games Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor."

"I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it."

"A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer... The officer asks him, ""Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"" The man replies, ""No, sir, it's against the wall."""

"Just heard a 15 year old call an autobiography a word selfie *points finger gun at mouth* *pulls trigger*"

"*at funeral* Thank you all for coming. As you already know, my dignity has left us. I tripped in front of all my coworkers. It was tragic."

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"Why don't people give Melania Trump a break... Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA."

"Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea? I mean cry me a river river right?"

"Oh, you have dignity? Well I have nachos. I win."