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Joke of the Day

"What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money? PayPal"

"Why did the paraplegic man cross the road? He couldn't"

"What do you call a chick who studies astronomy and has a big booty? Hubble butt."

"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."

"To all you single ladies out there, as winter slowly approaches I am offering you a good high quality man blanket for this winter. Claim me now while supplies last. . ."

"The difference between dates and prunes? You don't get laid after prunes (Courtesy of my date last night after I asked her this question seriously)"

"Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes? Could they not hire taller dancers?"

"[Breaking] Muslim terrorists have crashed a speedboat full of explosives into the base of the Hoover Dam... Police suspect this might be the first attack in a month long operation named Ramadam."

"My new bowflex comes tomorrow...so if anyone wants to buy a slightly used bowflex in a couple months let me know."

"what do you call a girl on a swing with no arms? Sarah. Knock Knock... Whos there? Not Sarah"