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Joke of the Day

"Why did the paraplegic man cross the road? He couldn't"

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"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipe."
"What was the name of the knight who sat all the way around the Round Table? Sir Cumference."
"A blind man walks into a bar Then into a chair, then into table."
"Me: Sorry I got drunk and ate all the bacon. Wife: You ate Beggin' Strips. *me to the dog* Sorry I got drunk and ate all of your bacon."
"I put my pants on just like everyone else in your mom's bedroom in the morning"
"Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? The bottle of shampoo said, ""Lather, Rinse, Repeat."""
"The student and the teacher. JACK: ""Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"" TEACHER:"" Of course not. "" JACK: ""Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."""
"How does a cricket know if his joke has bombed?"
"What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel."