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Joke of the Day

"Forget waterboarding. You want confessions? Lock the guy in a room with a laptop, a Twitter account and a bottle of whiskey."

"Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then"

"Fun Fact: The term HIV is actually Roman for High Five Pass it on...then again maybe not."

"U2 donated that album without charging, and we hate it. That's pro bono and anti-Bono at the same time."

"I Don't like racist jokes... ...because I don't appreciate black humour."

"For those who never forget a face, you are an exception."

"Did you hear the joke about the jump rope? Eh nevermind, I'll just skip it."

"A boy said to his father one day, ""Dad, when I grow up I want to be a musician."" His father responded, ""I'm sorry, son, you can't have it both ways."""

"How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day? One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab."

"Attention people who aren't employees: you should wash your fucking hands too."