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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then"

"Finally, GOOGLE will be firmly AHEAD of APPLE... ...ALPHABETICALLY :)"

"i wonder what it's like to be the pizzagate gun guy and discover that your former comrades now believe that you're a crisis actor"

"So a man comes into a bar... No wait it was a horse! So a man comes into a horse..."

"Two pretzels were walking down the street... One was assaulted"

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"There's only one problem with your face, I can see it."

"I've started replacing ""yes"" with ""sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti."""

"My wife told me I had to choose My wife walked in and told me I had to choose. Her or reddit.... I'm sure going to miss her."