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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?"

"Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT"

"Your mama so FAT32 She always takes 4096 bytes"

"My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. They didn't believe I bought a gym membership."

"So this guy walks into a bar... JOHN CENA! LIVE AT SUUUUUUUUUPER SLAAM!"

"Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too."

"My girlfriend asked me how much we would spend at our wedding. Me: I don't want to spend very much. Her: I want it to be a ten thousand dollar wedding. Me: Okay, so you, can do that then."

"I once knew a gay Irish couple. Their names were Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrick"

"How do you know an engineer is an extrovert? He stares at *your* shoes while he talks to you."

"A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service. When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, ""No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."""