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Joke of the Day

"If you had to choose between your local WNBA team winning the finals and receiving $5..... What would you spend your $5 on?"

"Don't give people who take selfies a hard time they're just trying to save face"

"The volume of sewage burdening my local treatment works is rising excrementally."

"How exactly was a black hole sun supposed to wash away the rain, Soundgarden?"

"[inventor of the piano] Tables aren't noisy enough."

"An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion."

"Note: September 2, 2010 will be 90210. Plan jokes accordingly."

"A man walks in on his wife, an English professor, having sex with his buddy. Honey! How could you! Well.. I'm surprised! She responds: *I'm* surprised. *you* are *astonished*."

"There was a half black, half Asian kid in my school. What did some kids call him? A ""Chigga"" (i'm not a racist, but this made me laugh for long enough to post it here. Please don't get triggered)"

"Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point."