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Joke of the Day

"Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point."

"My friends hate I when I use smiley faces. They're just childish xD"

"Why Was Tigger looking in the toilet?? ... He was looking for Pooh!"

"If a tree falls in the forest... ...and Linkin Park was playing a concert adjacent to that tree, in the end, does it even matter?"

"I like to sneak into people's houses and masturbate in their livingroom. ...so far no ones heard me cumming."

"I want to press charges on Santa If he knows when I'm sleeping, and he knows when I'm awake, that has to be considered stocking."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a prostitute? The looks on their faces while you're nailing them."

"Do you know the best part about having only one eye and bad vision? LASIK is half off."

"Why do chicken coops have only two doors? If they had four doors they would be chicken sedans."

"What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck? Egg_salad"