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Joke of the Day

"Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no lighters or matches or anything to light them with. What do they do? Throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter"

"Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac? He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears."

"Masturbation is like procasination In the end you're just fucking yourself"

"Heard Prince changed his name... ...to, ""The Artist Formerly known as Alive""."

"What did earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!"

"We have much to learn about the fabric of space-time. But we know you can't make a decent sweater out of it. Too scratchy."

"If Ben Franklin was a Nazi, how would he have discovered electricity? By frying kikes."

"What makes Rihanna different from other black people Work"

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"