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Joke of the Day

"You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If ""mom"" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*"

"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"[After date, walking her to her door] Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!' Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes"

"Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts."

"What's a 6.9? Another great thing ruined by a period"

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"What do you say when a Canadian won't listen to you? He'll have Nunavut"

"Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up? Nutty Marietta!"