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Joke of the Day

"A Scotsman, an Essex girl and an alien walk into a bar... The landlord looks up and says, ""What the hell is this? Some kind of a joke?"""

"If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long."

"An oldie but goldie! *How do you stop a charging bull?* ***Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! ~Skip"

"She can't leave if you're wearing all of her clothes."

"Christmas tree's for single mom's Just big enough for her to carry by herself"

"What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst"

"I like my women like I like my butter In a box, in a fridge."

"You should marry the first person who can understand what you're saying while you brush your teeth."

"What has 2 legs but doesn't use them? A man named Bob running down a train track (only Asians will understand)"

"I rang up British Telecom, I said, ""I want to report a nuisance caller"", he said ""Not you again"". "