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Joke of the Day

"The Titanic was a German philosopher... It got famous for sinking."

"Cop: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: SCARLETT JOHANSSON"

"Sorry I asked ""why?"" when you told me your baby's name."

"A proctologist walks into a bar Hostess: Would you like to take a stool or grab a seat? Doctor: Hell no, just a beer, I do that all day."

"How do pirates agree with each other over long distances? With their aye-phones."

"Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman."

"I dowloaded the song ""Runnin' down a dream"" illegally from the internet... I got charged with Petty theft."

"That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome."

"Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice."

"Hitler says... ""I order the execution of 6 million Jews and 1 clown!"" His officer responds with ""Why the clown?"" To which Hitler replies with ""See! No one cares about the Jews!"""