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Joke of the Day
"Cop: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: SCARLETT JOHANSSON"
Next Joke
"God gave you alcohol, sex and music. Why do you all talk about politics?!"
"I thought my neighborhood had turned very pro-Trump... Turns out they just put out their jack-o-lanterns."
"the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me"
"Life without love is pointless.... Love without life is necrophilia"
"To anyone commenting you don't have any chest hair Tell them it does not grow on steel"
"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"
"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""
"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."
"Do you love multiple trees? ...No. I'm mahogamous."