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Joke of the Day
"I'd probably have more friends if I didn't answer every call with ""Why did you save my number?"""
Next Joke
"People who say that they don't have time for my bullshit need to learn how to manage their time better. Wake up an hour earlier."
"It took me two hours to grill a chicken the other day. And it still didn't tell my why it crossed the road."
"Blonde: Doctor, it hurts everywhere I touch. Doctor: You have a broken finger."
"Q: Why don't elephants go skinny dipping? A: They can't get their trunks off."
"What do people say when Batman skips Church? Christian Bale"
"Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects."
"What's the difference between Yogurt and L.A.? Yogurt has a live and thriving culture."
"If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface."
"[2 dogs eating dinner] ""u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great"" [stops chewing] ""why does this taste like chocolate"""