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Joke of the Day

"If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface."

"How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. I'll show myself out."

"If only the person that named ""walkie talkies"" had been in charge of naming so many more household objects."

"What did the German brat say to his father? You're the wurst!"

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"What's the shortest book in the world? Deutscher Humor!"

"What did the comedian say before he hung himself? ""Sorry for being a noose-ance."""

"I used to have a drinking problem. I still do, but I used to, too."

"Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Sorry if repost"