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Joke of the Day
"How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing? They look in the obituary"
Next Joke
"95% of American office workers are watching the World Cup right now. Overall productivity level remains steady."
"Seenus trouble Dad: Son, I have seenus trouble. Me: Seenus? Dont you mean sinus trouble, pops? Dad: No, son. Seenus, I was out with my girlfriend and your mom seenus."
"This is a bit cruel, but one of my favorites: What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The Wheelchair."
"Sorry I haven't returned your text in 3 days, I was taking a nap."
"If you were locked in a room with Trump and Clinton And it was just you, them, and a pistol with one bullet... Which one would you shoot and which would you bludgeon to death with the pistol?"
"Don't make me use UPPERCASE."
"Spoiler alert: The company that's paying for the commercial always wins the taste test."
"all of my friends are really happy and successful. i have no clean forks so i cut up a hot dog with my debit card"
"Did you guys here the Twins signed Adrian Peterson? Word is they needed a switch hitter..."