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Joke of the Day

"If you were locked in a room with Trump and Clinton And it was just you, them, and a pistol with one bullet... Which one would you shoot and which would you bludgeon to death with the pistol?"

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"How far can you run into the woods? Halfway, any further and you're running out."
"I heard you can turn soup to gold... You just have to add 24 carrots"
"Why engineers are boring"
"My son asked me what it's like to be married... So I took his iPod and deleted all of his songs except for one."
"When I die..... I want to go in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not terrified and screaming like everyone else in his car."
"I cant find my large stir fry pan It's like it just gets up and Woks away"
"Have you heard of Evil Knievals brother Ku Klux Knievel? He once tried to jump 50 black mean on a steamroller."
"What is everyone using to scrape ice off their windscreen? This morning I used a discount card from my wallet, but it was no good. I only got 20% off.....!!"
"I was going to buy a book on phobias But I was afraid it wasn't going to work"