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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans like spicy food? It induces labor."

"What did the premature ejaculatist say to his offended lover? Sorry... That came out wrong."

"Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day."

"They say 'No news is good news,' but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy."

"Twilight and Hostess are over. It's a sad day for fat girls."

"An actual quote by President George Bush ""The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs"""

"Get your rock star name, like Axl Rose did, by selecting a car part and then a flower. Mine is Crankshaft Tulip"

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same."

"Staying at my daughter's place again this weekend. Can't wait till 3am so I can wake her to tell her there's a moth in my room."

"[lights focus on guy in interrogation room] ""Say it. SAY IT."" *points at sign saying ""Worcestershire Sauce""*"