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Joke of the Day

"Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that."

"Have you heard about Beyonce's new perfume line, Beyotch?"

"Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!"

"My wife said I lack empathy I don't understand how she could feel that way."

"Have you been on /r/bigdickproblems ? Of course you haven't."

"Gran's always up for a laugh, so for a bit of a practical joke, I put her walking stick out of her reach .. I just can't believe she fell for it."

"What if bananas turn black and bruised because they run their own fight club when we're not around?"

"Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly."

"I have had sex with so many other men this week I can't keep em all straight"

"If the police ask, I was in my house from 2009 to 2013."