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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell"
Next Joke
"I've never pretended to be something I'm not... Except sober. I've pretended to be sober before."
"[Calls boss] I won't be in today ""Why not?"" [camera pans out to a raccoon wearing sunglasses driving away in my car] I've got the shits."
"I spend 99% of my drunk time chasing my cat around trying to give him a hug."
"Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with "".gov""?"
"What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor? Black humor - 12 children in one trash can Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children"
"*walks into funeral while playing the mandolin* ""I'm sorry. Am I interrupting?"" *dead guy sits up in casket* No it sounds lovely. Keep going"
"""Spring is in the air"" I proclaim as I hurl a Slinky at your head."
"What do you call a judge that doesn't have any fingers? Justice Thumbs"
"So I decided to submit a joke about Ned Stark's head [Removed]"