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Joke of the Day
"""Spring is in the air"" I proclaim as I hurl a Slinky at your head."
Next Joke
"If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ""Two seconds 'til."" After you ask, ""Two seconds 'til what?"" he roundhouse kicks you in the face."
"If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money."
"Is that gluten free? You mean Kosher for Passover, right?"
"I spend more time hitting the damn snooze button than I do snoozing."
"Did you hear about the race between the two decapitated heads? I heard they were neck and neck"
"My mom never liked Bill Cosby's jokes. She says they put her to sleep."
"What killed the guy ordering at an Italian restaurant? He'd had trouble deciding to go with the appetizers or entrees, but eventually he went antipasto way."
"Horrible joke Getting screwed over by a ex is like learning that your crabs got herpes"
"Two gay guys are sleeping... Facing each other.. One of them says to the other, ""Are you angry with me?"""