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Joke of the Day

"if it smells like bullshit & looks like bullshit, it probably is bullshit. Putting sugar on it doesn't make it a brownie."

"Hey girl are you a Sony Pictures movie because I wanna [end of joke redacted due to foreign pressure]"

"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"

"How do hipsters talk about shoes? [...](http://imgur.com/yzelyVT)"

"What do you say when your TV is floating in the night? ""Drop it, nigga."""

"Why cant witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have hollow-weenies! Happy halloween :)"

"Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage."

"Women are super awesome at remembering insults but we have the memory of a goldfish with compliments and need them repeated continually."

"Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?"

"Why did the girl Gorilla engaged to the invisible man call off the wedding? Because in the last analysis she just couldn't see it!"