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Joke of the Day

"Women are super awesome at remembering insults but we have the memory of a goldfish with compliments and need them repeated continually."

"Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!"

"Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at."

"What would the Reddit political party be called? The know-kn0thing party."

"A dad walks into his son's room while his son is masturbating. ""Son, don't do that, you'll go blind."" ""Hey dad, I'm over here""."

"Roses are red violets are blue i have a gun get in the van"

"How good are you at powerpoint? I Excel at it!"

"Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars? Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!"

"I love the Lion King... ...but Simba is so slow. Sometimes I wish he'd Mufasa."

"Does anyone else feel like a 25yr old trapped in a 40yr+ body???"