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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Doctor you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want."

"Bad joke I made up Where do black people stay when they visit Alaska? A nigloo"

"Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with the three guys? She came back with a red snapper."

"To people calling themselves ""Grammar Nazis"": you're not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I'm a Nomenclature Nazi."

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

"Ive recently been under the weather but now im in a stable conditon My rooms filthy and there is shit everywhere"

"A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours."

"What did Donald Trump say to the Mexicans? You're hired! But don't tell anyone."

"What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam? A sister-in-law"

"I just had an AMAZING salad at McDonalds. The toppings I chose were 4 big macs & 10 chicken mc nuggets with 9 sweet & sour packs as dressing"