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Joke of the Day

"Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*"

"children crying as stepdad attempts to overturn custom t-shirt mall kiosk that accidentally typed ""#2 dad"" on his photo, stepdad also crying"

"America's economy must really be in the toilet... The new $20 bill is only gonna be worth about $16"

"Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs"

"COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears are bear ghosts. ""polargeists"" [very sad robot noises]"

"Why did 10 die? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11"

"Is it so wrong to bang on your neighbor's door at 2am and ask them to reset their modem?"

"Why are so many racist jokes about black people? Because black people can't read. Duh. I'll show myself out."

"The impossibility of accepting the offer of a quick drink without first pretending to check your watch"

"What is the sun's favourite kind of food? Sol food"