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Joke of the Day

"America's economy must really be in the toilet... The new $20 bill is only gonna be worth about $16"

"I think between the two of them, Kim & Kanye had enough money for a box of condoms."

"What do an optimist and a paraplegic have in common? They're not carried by *defeat*"

"Next time a dude says ""Pictures or it didn't happen"", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched."

"My friends pet mouse Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap."

"Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty! "

"What did the little black kid get on his SAT's? Barbecue sauce."

"Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea? A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face."

"Did you hear Willie Nelson got run over? He was playing on the road again."

"Pretty sure the neighbors are impressed with the banging and screaming they heard. Little do they know it was just me chasing a spider."