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Joke of the Day

"All I want to know is, what idiot named it a zipper...And not a penis flytrap?"

"Sometimes I lie in bed at night, looking up at the stars and think Where the hell did the ceiling go?"

"I am upset with my parents for making me exist. u just decided to make a person one day? who's gonna pay my bills? me? I didn't ask for this"

"Why do blondes have big belly buttons? Their boyfriends are also blonde. [A joke I heard in grade 6.]"

"Help! I'm a fat man trapped in a skinny body!"

"Have you heard the joke you are never supposed to tell a gay person? Oh. Sorry."

"Hippocrates was pretty damn smart ... for a horse."

"When I ask someone what their name is, why do I never actually listen to their answer?"

"What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time? Quantum Mechanics."

"I am NOT just 'a piece of meat' you know. I'm a ribeye steak... a bit fatty, but still quite tasty. Ok, I lied. I'm pork butt."