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Joke of the Day

"I was expelled from school for masturbating in the showers The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz"

"I would like to thank President Donald Trump on behalf of my wife... suddenly the thousands I invested into Canadian dating sites wasn't so worthless after all."

"I have just completed knitting a tiny sweater for my one true friend, who is a grape."

"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters? Short."

"I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets."

"I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox... bad day to wear sandals."

"My chess board grew a tumor Thankfully it's B-9"

"Told a girl she's more attractive when she's not wearing glasses and she said I'm also more attractive when she's not wearing glasses."

"Let me think of a joke... Well, I would've told you a joke about my dick, but it's too long."

"I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar."