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Joke of the Day
"Walmart has strategically placed the cold sore meds in the mistletoe aisle."
Next Joke
"I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters"
"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."
"Why is women's soccer so boring? Because all the good female athletes play in men's leagues. Thank you, thank you."
"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it."
"Elon Musk has decided to abandon his dream of going to Mars and pursue a career in perfume sales. In honor of the canceled Mars program he will be debuting 'SpaceAxe', a signature Elon ""Musk""."
"What does an uncircumcised Jedi use?"
"I'm never condescending That's when you talk down to people."
"Hey, John... Yeah? If killing a man is a homicide, then is killing a swiss person a suicide?"
"Christiano Ronaldo races with himself. Who won? No one. They both came second."