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Joke of the Day

"""I'm telling you, it's all or nothing,"" the exterminator explains to Noah, ""I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."""

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the Fresh Prints."

"What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat Farts..."

"People drinking wine in nice restaurants at 2:30 pm - Who are you and how do you get the time and money? Teach me."

"If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine."

"You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about shit ....?"

"Things I'm doing today * going to the gym * having sex * lying"

"What's white and in the men's 100M final? The lines."

"Relationship threats: teens: i'll cheat on you 20's: i'll go to the bar with my boys 30's: I'm gonna watch all of our shows without you"

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Ten-ish"