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Joke of the Day

"Last night I went to a bar and someone put a Mira-Lax in my drink Overall, it was a pretty shitty night"

"QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY FOUNDING FATHER! - strict constitutional constructionist teen to the President"

"Did you hear about the time Pontius Pilate got really drunk? He ended up nailing Jesus."

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means."

"Unsuspecting male: So what kind of restaurants do you like? Me: Open ones."

"What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints? You want flies with that?"

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere."

"I had a near miss on my a flight to Thailand. Well a pre-op Transsexual."

"Fried potatoes Mashed potatoes Baked potatoes Twice baked potatoes Potato chips -if Bubba grew up on a potato farm instead of a shrimp boat"

"Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday? Half Life 3 Confirmed!"