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Joke of the Day

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means."

"I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands... Clunk. These are heavy."

"What's the worst part about cumming in 2 mintues? Spooning."

"What is black and white and red all over? A suicide note. Edit: I already feel horrible Edit 2: I left out a semicolon"

"I'm having an increasing fear of New Year songs. Must be Ole Langxiety."

"TIL if you say ""gullible"" very slowly it'll come out sounding like ""oranges"". Gotchya!?"

"[Walking into the gym Jan 1st] Trainer: Hello! This is a great life change you're making. Me: [confused] This used to be an Olive Garden.."

"What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak."

"Guess where my cheating girlfriend now lives? Idaho"

"TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion."