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Joke of the Day

"If the band Toto, drummer Tommy Lee & singer Marvin Gaye ever got together and made an album... ...I'm pretty it would be Toto Lee Gaye."

"3YO: ""How do babies get out of bellies?"" ME: ""Look! Ice cream!"" *5 min later* 3YO [COVERED IN ICE CREAM]: ""How do babies get out of be---"""

"What do you call an exceptionally intelligent gay man? Homogeneous"

"- much ado about nothing - 2 much 2 nothing - much ado 3: toyko drift - much nothing - much 5 - much ado 6 - nothing 7"

"I saw two Asian guys backing up a UHaul truck to a Home Depot and it reminded me of a great thing about being white. I know someone with a pickup truck."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer..."

"Why are Saturday and Sunday strong? Because all the other days are week days."

"[first date] Her: I like a guy who gets a little nasty Me: [puts hand sanitizer away] I used a gas station bathroom once"

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt."