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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I really like this car"" Salesman: ""Yeah and it also has a latch in case someone gets stuck in the trunk!"" Me: ""Eh, what else ya got?"""

"Kinky and Perverted What is the difference between perverted?? Kinky is when you tickle your lovers ass with a feather ... perverted is when you use the whole chicken!"

"(DARK) Why do mathematicians love Hitler? He had the Final Solution."

"What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica? ""X marks the pot, matey."""

"I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint."

"I worked a 10-hour day today... Sounds impressive to non-programmers who don't know binary."

"Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!"

"Q: What's green and purple and goes up and down? A: Barney in an elevator."

"""i said make him fetch"" yeah? ""what have you done"" he looks pretty fetching to me *dog in shirt & tie* does he have a job interview or somet"

"How do you spot the vegan at a party? They'll tell you."