230406

Joke of the Day

"What do you call Hitler in the water? Adolfin. Stolen from /u/NightRedditor423"

"Johnny got back from drug rehab... ...and they asked did he managed to quit taking drugs. He said: ""Well, on one hand a I did, but on the other one I didn't."""

"Misanthropy I joined the local misanthropes society but none of the other members like me."

"I got my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. I know it's not the greatest gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"F(x) walks into a bar The bartender looks at him and says ""sorry, we don't cater for functions"""

"Her: baby can you come up here and play with me? Me: *sprints up stairs Her: I'm kidding. Can you hand me the remote? Me: this is so us"

"It's a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green."

"Nothing is too good for my girlfriend on Valentines day... I tried to get her nothing, but she was too good for that."

"*1st date* ""Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh"" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* ""Hellooo soulmate"""

"Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times Schrodinger: Nice, nice"