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Joke of the Day

"A woman called and said ""I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes."" I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said ""Yeah whatever."""

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"I started seeing a psychic. I knew she was good because she told me she's voted best in the city 2017 and 2018."
"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""Oh sure, just because I'm a woman means I have to do everything around here. And let me tell you..."""
"Everytime I listen 'freudien slip' I always think in my ... ... psychology classes. And you ?"
"What type of carpet do you put in an igloo? Burr-burr"
"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"
"What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam."
"How was marriage instituted? A bunch of prostitutes wanted to start a labor union."
"If your name is Ray and you're a racist it's not gonna take us long to give you a nickname."
"You know a girl is too young for you... If you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth Credit: Jimmy Carr"