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Joke of the Day

"Israel has an Olympic skier in Vancouver which makes me wonder if he thinks it's a shalom competition."

"I don't know why I have to jog with you, you're the fat one. ~Dogs"

"How to get a woman: 1) find one who sells cars 2) take a test drive 3) just keep driving She's yours now, plus you have a new car."

"They're calling the internet a drug now. Don't worry, though. It's not as bad as Cocaine or Heroin. They're calling it a 503 bad gateway drug."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit? Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day Set a man on fire and he is warm for a lifetime."

"I got arrested at the airport last week. Appearently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding the plane."

"Zoo A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"The worst thing about being in my 40's is that I can't get teenaged girls to sleep with me. It's like being a teenager again."

"I was homeschooled so my back to school pics were of me standing in front of the house before I went back inside."