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Joke of the Day

"When you mount a gun rack above your desk, it's surprising how many PowerPoint presentations you simply don't have to see."

"My Iguana has been having trouble getting enough blood into his weenus; he has areptile dysfunction."

"What aftershave do monsters wear? Brute."

"What did the terrorist say when he woke up? It was Allah dream."

"What do you do, if you're jerking off when you're meant to do something else but you're putting it off? Procrasturbation."

"TERRIBLE INVENTION PITCH: decaf Red Bull"

"I think mountains are funny.... they're *hill areas*"

"Q: What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? A: If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

"As a white man, it's hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper."

"Traffic in every Florida city is crazy! Drivers are maniacs! Saturday afternoon there was a taxi driver who had to pull out to avoid a kid. .... .... ... He fell off the sofa."