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Joke of the Day

"Traffic in every Florida city is crazy! Drivers are maniacs! Saturday afternoon there was a taxi driver who had to pull out to avoid a kid. .... .... ... He fell off the sofa."

Next Joke
 
"Young Actor: Dad guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years. Father: Well keep at it son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."
"Knock knock Who's there? No one. You imagined the knocking due to mental illness brought on by crushing loneliness."
"What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life And you're starting back off at your last checkpoint."
"Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :) Me: No it's ok, I have my own account [60 years later on deathbed] Me: Wait a minute"
"What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go ""tick tick tick?"" Vee have vays of making you tock!"
"So Mickie Mouse says to Minnie, ""I want a divorce... To which Minnie replies, ""Are you fucking crazy!?"" Mickie says ""No, I'm fucking Daisy"""
"What's the difference between a boomerang and a train filled with Jews? The boomerang comes back."
"What did Ferris Bueller do after he graduated high school? He went to Europe to study a-Broderick"
"me: ""okay I might as well just say it..I love you"" girl dinosaur: ""omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!"" *meteorite*"