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Joke of the Day

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected"

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"Can you believe they're the same age? http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2015/10/07/stars-who-are-the-same-age/#/slide/kylie-maisie-same-age"
"Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does."
"A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door."
"PEOPLE OF THE PLANE LISTEN TO ME WHEN THE SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF STAND UP IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SPOT IN THE NON-MOVING LINE WON'T BE ASSURED"
"Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I'm so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it's my husband."
"Dammit Dad Dad: ""Whaddya got there, son?"" Son: ""Soy milk."" Dad: -pauses- ""Hola milk, soy tu padre."""
"One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized."
"My gf is getting glasses Hey guys - my gf is getting glasses on monday and I need a couple of jokes to fire at her - please do your best "
"What's the difference between my basement and a Ferrari? One is filled with hookers, and the other is my basement!"
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