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Joke of the Day

"If someone who knows several languages is multi-lingual, someone who knows two is bilingual, what is a person who only knows one? Average American"

"Hey everyone who says aliens don't exist. Explain morning people."

"I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this *blew* up."

"Confucius say If you poop on a leave, you will have shitty thyme"

"My daughter wanted me to treat her like a princess So I let her get stolen by a giant, mutant turtle."

"Where do women in the WNBA shop? It's definitely not at dicks."

"Doctor Doctor I keep dreaming of bats creepy-crawlies demons ghosts monsters vampires werewolves and yetis. Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"

"I was just asked to give my credit card details. I said, ""It's rectangular, blue and not very valuable."""

"What did Justin Beiber say to his teacher? What do you mean?"

"The ghost teacher was showing her class how to walk through walls. ""Now did all of you understand that?"" she asked. ""If not, I'll just go through it again."""