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Joke of the Day

"If someone who knows several languages is multi-lingual, someone who knows two is bilingual, what is a person who only knows one? Average American"

"Sour cream is Mexican ketchup. I put that shit on everything."

"How are you supposed to be politically correct... How are you supposed to be politically correct and still have a gender reveal party?"

"The oldest joke in the world: ""How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?"" You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

"[AMA Request] A hipster who admits he/she is a hipster."

"I can't help but feel partially responsible for the fact that you're reading this Tweet right now."

"I'm such a crastinator... I'm way too busy redditing to go Pro!"

"If you have sex on a boat... ...is that off-shore drilling?"

"(Translated from my mother tongue) What does a man do when he wants to end a marriage passively? He tries finding the expiration date on the marriage cirtifficate"

"Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!"