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Joke of the Day
"Confucius say If you poop on a leave, you will have shitty thyme"
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"How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun? Shoot the people pushing it."
"Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you."
"[Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:"
"Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !"
"The shortest tribe in the world The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!"
"Top three perverts that see you when you're sleeping: 1. Santa. 2. God. 3. NSA."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ? Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !"
"Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette"
"What looks just like half a loaf of bread? Its other half."