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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of a masochist with necrobeastiality tendencies? Someone who literally gets off beating a dead horse."

"How is a vagina like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat them!"

"I just signed a deal with my liquor store that when I die I'll be stuffed in the Capt. Morgan pose and displayed inside their store."

"I like my women like I like my butter In a box, in a fridge."

"What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common? Princess Diana can't stop either"

"Limerick I learnt at my all boys school There once was a man name of 'Dave' who kept a dead whore in a cave. She started to stink, and was no longer pink, but think of the money he saved!"

"Money doesn't impress me. You know what does? Treehouses."

"My house is like an Indiana Jones movie. Partly because I walk around with a bullwhip, but mostly because of all the cobwebs."

"Why is it called PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken."

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend Until the LSD wears off and I'm actually dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park"