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Joke of the Day
"My cat was looking for a place to sleep today, all she kneaded was my lap."
Next Joke
"Teacher: Name two pronouns ? Pupil: Who ? me ?"
"What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary? Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator)."
"Daylight savings On Sunday we jumped back an hour, today we jumped back 50 years."
"Hillary's team is really going all out to get the LGBTQ vote... They've even convinced Huma to get rid of her Weiner."
"Why don't Muslims fill out online forms? Because they refuse to Submit to anyone but Allah."
"Women's magazines are so funny. 1: You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days."
"Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway."
"Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!"
"Hansel and Gretel is a timeless tale about the importance of killing old ladies."