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Joke of the Day

"Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway."

"I think semi-colons have gotten a bad rap. They should be re-branded as super-commas."

"In the 50's the pot called the kettle a different word."

"What do you do if you're drunk and you run into your ex wife? Reverse to make sure."

"Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose. According to them, this is a full-blown disease."

"(NSFW) What do crocs and a blow job from a dude have in common? They both feel good until you look down."

"Everyone lies on their resume but I fear I may have gone overboard with 'immortal' and 'shoots lasers from eyes' and 'hardworking'."

"I caught a mosquito in my hand.. It sucked."

"Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh."